I don’t feel safe at home

In this section you will find help and advice about what to do if you don’t feel safe at home. Everyone should feel safe in their own home and if you don’t, or think you are being abused this section is here to help you.

 

What is being abused? Am I being abused?

Being abused means you are being deliberately hurt by someone. Abuse can take many forms, it might be physical, emotional, financial or sexual. The person abusing you may hit you, but hitting is not the only way to abuse someone. They may make you feel bad by the way they talk to you, calling you names, taking money off you or forcing you to do things you are not comfortable doing.

 
It is not your fault and there is no way this should be happening to you. Should I tell someone?

Yes, telling someone about what is happening to you will not be easy, but once you do it things will change. Even if you don’t think anyone will believe you, or the person abusing you has told you no-one will believe you, you must tell someone. Even if the first person you tell does not believe you, keep on trying until you find someone who will help you. Things may not change straight away sometimes they may even seem to get worse for a short while. But they will get better and as soon as you have told someone you will feel different. 

It is important that you choose who to tell

You need to be sure that the person you talk to can be trusted, you may be able to talk to someone you know such as a teacher, relative, friend, youth worker or social worker. But if you don’t want to talk to someone you know, and don’t know who to turn to, or just need some help and advice, below are some numbers of people who can help. They will deal with what you tell them in a confidential manner but this does not mean they will keep a secret. How they act may depend on whether you are in immediate danger and your age.

 
NSPCC
0800 800 5000
ChildLine
0800 1111
0300 555 8574
National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247
 
Police Domestic Abuse Unit (Halesowen) 0121 626 8078 (in an emergency always dial 999)
 
Victim Care Unit (Victim Support)  0300 303 1977.

I think my boyfriend/girlfriend is abusing me

Abuse is not normal and never ok. If you are in a relationship with someone, you should feel loved, safe, respected and free to be yourself. There are different forms of abuse which may include sexual pressure, calling you names or using violence. Your partner may also try to "control" you by checking your phone or getting angry when you want to see your friends instead of them. If your relationship leaves you feeling scared, intimidated or controlled, it’s possible you’re in an abusive relationship. As with any form of abuse tell someone that you trust such as a teacher, relative, friend, youth worker or social worker who can support you and help you make the right decisions to move forward. You can also find out more dating abuse here.

Where will I live after I have told someone?

This will depend on your circumstances, what you have said and the amount of danger you may be in. But it will also depend on your age. If you are under 16 and what has been happening has put you in danger it may mean that Social Services help you.
 

If you are over 16 you can leave home without your parent’s permission. You can present yourself as homeless to Dudley Council Plus and explain that you are not safe at home and have nowhere else to go. If you do this try and take someone with you to support you. The person you see will keep what you tell them confidential but some of the information may need to be shared with other agencies who can help.

If you no longer want contact with your family or people you don’t trust be careful you give your new address to.

Each situation is different and the most important thing is that you tell someone exactly what has happened to you. If you don’t think anyone will believe you or the person abusing you has told you no-one will believe you, keep trying until you find someone who will help you.

Things may not change straight away sometimes they may even seem to get worse for a short while. But things can get better and as soon as you have told someone you will feel different.

useful links:

Emergency housing assistance

I have a disability or a long term illness and want somewhere to live

I'm from an ethnic minority

I'm lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgenered

I'm leaving care

I'm a young parent

How can I keep safe?

I've had enough I'm leaving my new home!

I'm being evicted