Moving in with someone

If you are desperate to move out then staying with a friend or moving in with your girlfriend or boyfriend might seem like an answer but there are a few things you might want to consider first.

  • Am I really going to be able to live in this place as my home? Will they expect me to do things their way?
  • Is moving in together going to put stress on our relationship? Maybe even split us up?
  • Is this person someone I would really want to live with given the choice? Are they violent, miserable or selfish?
  • Will they expect me to contribute financially and if so how much?
Is there someone else who lives in the same place such as their partner, friend or their parents? Are they going to be happy to have me for long? Has this even been discussed with them?
If you move into another persons home then you are a lodger. This means that they can ask you to leave at any time and you dont have any legal protection. So if you have an argument you could end up homeless. Of course if you just need something temporary or it is an emergency then friends and family it can be just what you need. But if you decide to be a lodger long term then here are a few tips.
Even if you know the person well it is a good idea to spend some time discussing how things will work. Where will you sleep? Are you expected to do housework? How much will you contribute financially? Will you prepare your own food separately? Can you come and go as you please? Can you have guests?

Consider if the person you are going stay with is mature and supportive. Your auntie may be less fun than your mates but she might be more help if you have problems.

If you dont know the person you are lodging with then be careful not to move in with someone who may pose a danger to you, particularly if they want to become your girlfriend or boyfriend or have a sexual relationship with you. Take your time and find out as much about them as you can.

If they have had a lodger before you try to speak to that person and get some information about what it was like to live with that person.

Make sure that you find out how this will affect your benefits or your friends benefits. A person who lives alone pays less Council Tax. The person you move in with may find their Housing Allowance or Housing Benefit reduced because you are expected to make a contribution. However, if they are living in a house that is too big then they may be better off if you move in. You can call Housing Benefits on 0300 555 8100 to find out more and they can do an assessment to tell you if you will get any Housing Benefit.

If things go wrong
Sadly the person you got on so well with before you moved in may be quite different after you have been there for a while. If you are asked to leave or if your partner becomes violent then you can get help.

If you are experiencing problems in your relationship and the person is violent or wants to control you then these people may be able to help

National and local contacts

  • National Domestic Violence Helpline: 0808 2000 247
  • Women’s Aid:
  • Police: 0845 113 5000 or 999 in an emergency
  • Domestic Violence Unit for Dudley, Brierley Hill, Sedgeley and Coseley: 0121 626 8078
  • Domestic Violence Unit for Halesowen and Stourbridge: 0121 626 9209
  • Housing: Contact Dudley Council Plus on 0300 555 2345
Or if you need advice because you are going to be homeless use the links at the bottom of this page to find out what to do. 


Also see the following for more information: